I am brother to Nomads, and Guncle to #thegreatscoutdoors. I recently endured an entire week with these Looney Tunes in their Wheel Home. These are my stories. ₰DUH-DUH₰

Life in a first-world USA cannot happen without internet. It just can’t, especially for a couple of hard working hipsters living life on the road like a couple of Nomads. When most people pack their high-rise apartment into a 5th wheel, hook it to the back of a pick-up, and sleep in a KOA in rural Canada they call it camping. Camping is not what the Nomads think they are doing with their life. These fools call it living. Labels! Why torture a cute baby cow in a cage when you can indulge in veal? I digress.

Riddle me this Bat Woman: How many Melissa McCarthy DVD’s does it take to download Zach Effron’s Bay Watch on Apple TV over KOA Wi-Fi? Three. It takes the time of 3 Melissa flicks to download 1 Zach flick. Now, add two adults putting in a day working remotely and tack on a few hours in an online grad class in the evening. Finally, add one guest on his third week in a row away from his office. Solve.

The answer? It’s ROUGH, and challenging for anyone to get anything done. In our own ways we had all been stressing about the internet situation over the course of my visit. My last day with the Nomads was a Monday, and vacation doesn’t exist on Monday. So we did what we had to do and ventured into the big city on an internet safari. Urban Legend has it for every one crappy KOA Wi-Fi signal, there are precisely 525,600 quaint coffee shops offering up all the Wi-Fi in the world. Lucky for us, Toronto is sprawling with them, and in no time we mounted our monitors.

So there we all were, in a great little coffee shop in Toronto, keying away at our Surface Mac Pro’s, catching up on calls, and playing hot potato with a freshly napped #TheGreatScoutdoors who was radiating laughs, smiles and cuddles. I loved that day.