This is likely a surprise to everyone, with the exception of my husband, but I actually write quite a bit. I journal for my daughter and have since I found out we were expecting her, mostly just stories about her conception and our lack of parenting skills in hopes to horrify her one day. I’m in graduate school and of course I have a grown-up job where I have to sound intelligent and paint pictures with the written word. Yes, you would think I would have better writing skills but c’est la vie. Normally I try to say something witty or philosophical to open an entry, however, this week we are wrecked so let’s dive right in, shall we?

We left off with our journey through Sturgis during Sturgis. Oooofff, rookie move. We made it and now we know that we should’ve listened to my gramps when he told us to research our routes beforehand. Clearly we enjoy learning things the hard way. Now off through Dakota. Yes, I know they are two states, I’m sure I learned why in US history at some point, but really there are about two cities total and they’re on opposite ends of the states. The distance between civilization and flat landscape makes the drive tough for this mountain girl. Fun fact, the drive from Rapid City to Fargo was actually longer than my entire pregnancy. This is all magnified when you have the first child in human history who hates car rides. Clearly, a karmic joke or Murphy’s law, whatever it would fall under. “Let’s live on the road with our small child who HATES being in the car”.I realize these days may not sound all that fun, but they are quite enjoyable and we know we are making memories. We find humor in this ridiculousness.  What could be a mundane drive is magically transformed by the BIGGEST code brown to ever happen! Of course our child would explode in the middle of South Dakota on the side of the road, while we were on a business call. Here we are, at a rural South Dakota rest stop, our phones on mute, peeling our child out of her clothes. I can only imagine what the truckers driving through must have thought as we are holding our naked baby out in a field, hosing her off with water bottles. This is what this adventure is about, not poop obviously, but seeing new places, making memories and truly experiencing every single day.

While we make this journey across the country our evenings are spent figuring out our new home. Turns out a home on wheels is not entirely like a house. While we have all the comforts of home (including a fire place), there are some things to adapt to. The walls move, you flush the toilet with your foot and everything you own is velcroed down. All of these nuances make you appreciate how simple our lives truly are. For instance, we have not had hot water since we started this journey. Every single night has been spent tearing through manuals and youtubing “how to turn on valves”… and “what is a valve”? My sweet husband has acquired the mouth of a sailor this week and I’m afraid there is no turning back. This new obstacle is some sort of retribution for blowing off my parents every time they told me about the hardships of growing up in their day. Turns out hot water is, in fact, important. Our cushy, “never had a hard days work” bodies do not enjoy freezing showers. Basic hygiene has taken a big hit this week. Going several days without a shower is a true marriage test, I do not recommend it.

Only a few days on the open road and our list of repairs now requires a legal size piece of paper. We have taped up the side of our house with glow in the dark tape; you know, to really accentuate all the damage we’ve caused. We pull in to Minnesota in our jalopy and find the nearest Camping World. We wonder what we will see first, all 50 States or all Camping World locations. As our home is being repaired we are taking a far less civilized mode of transportation. Because the joys of traveling with a baby can only be magnified by the glamour that is air travel.